Sunday, April 12, 2015

Dear Microsoft Word,

You amuse me. Truly, you would think I know how to spell my own name. This applies to character names as well. It’s not really that difficult, and I would like to tell you now that you are wrong. Please do not misunderstand me when I say you are not the final authoritative voice in my writing career.
What’s more, you irritate me, Word. For the last time, would zou stop changing the language settings to German when I clearlz tzpe English_ Sure, my last name is German, but that is no reason to switch the settings everz time I tzpe Klein.
While I do not apologize for my frustrations, I would like to thank you for correcting my spelling mistakes. Of course, I turned off Auto Correct because I meant Ecuador not equator.
I greatly appreciate Track Changes. It is great tool for writers, like myself, who does not want to keep all eight printed drafts of a story. Of course, I will still continue to print out my stories because I can catch more mistakes, and paper is easier on my eyes. Yes, Word make my eyes water after several hours. Thanks (but no thanks) for the reading glasses, by the way!
In essence, the dependence upon technology in our age has gone too far, for how can I, or anybody, learn how to spell properly, or how to use a comma properly, if you believe that all long sentences are incorrect, even though they just happen to be compound and complete? What’s more, how can I learn to trust my own judgment and learn from my mistakes if I always rely upon you?


Azelyn (not Ashley)

P.S. Despite our long relationship, I am considering purchasing a typewriter. Not that I think I will make any fewer mistakes (I may need to learn how to type properly), but at least I could learn.

Disclaimer: This is not a formal complaint against Microsoft or any associated
products. It is just meant to be a humorous approach to why people should not
entirely depend upon technology.

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